My personal annual report for 2022 is organized in the following sections:
I broke out my 2022 Media Diet and Books I read in 2022 into separate articles.
Year in review
At the end of every year I reflect on my experiences, accomplishments, habits, lessons learned, and other notable events from the past 12 months. It’s a great exercise that keeps me organized, holds me accountable, and most importantly, leaves me feeling (1) grateful for the past, and (2) inspired for the future.1
I had a great 2022.
I ran my first 50-miler, went into the wilderness alone, read great books, lifted many a kettlebell, and completed the life-changing Self Authoring Suite of writing exercises.
Some of the best times from the past year were spent hanging with family, visiting friends, and practicing the weird habits I’ve built up over the years. I ran the Ragnar Trail SoCal; cranked out six Kettlebell Miles (fastest time: 15:48 at 24kg on February 20, 2022)2; took 10 ice dips, daily cold showers, and a good number of cold hikes and runs in just my shorts, shoes, hat and gloves; completed one three-day fast and seven two-day fasts; and teamed up with a good friend for a daily 100-pushup challenge that spanned about six months.
I also completed my first year on the new job, as a Senior Economist on Trial Staff at the Colorado Public Utilities Commission. I work with a smart and dedicated team that constantly pushes me to improve, and it’s been a challenging and extremely rewarding experience. I am learning a ton about new aspects of the energy industry and getting far into the weeds of the regulatory process. The biggest challenge has been learning how to think like a litigation attorney; surprisingly, this is also one of the most fun parts about the job!
Yes, it can be daunting to spend days, weeks, and months reading through dense pages of testimonies, legal documents, and reports on the nuts and bolts of utility economics. However, once I get rolling on a case, it feels great to (1) become an expert on so many different and complex topics; (2) have an immediate impact on the energy landscape; and (3) serve the public interest.
I also like the rush and pressure of testifying as an expert witness. It has made me a much stronger writer and sharpened my skills at analyzing, simplifying, and explaining complicated issues. Testifying in hearings is similar to giving a big presentation: you put in a ton of work preparing and practicing, and then when you are in the hot seat, you rely on your training, and deliver with confidence. It can be stressful, but it’s entirely worth it. I love the challenge, I’m nowhere near perfect or at the level I want to be at, and I learn something (many things) new with every testimony. I really appreciate how these experiences under the microscope, wrestling with smart people over complex ideas, force you to put in the work and step your game up. Iron sharpens iron.
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I am grateful for all the amazing people, opportunities, randomness, and even the setbacks that made me a stronger and better person in 2022. I am hopeful and excited for 2023 and the many more great things on the horizon.
Goals results
This section holds me accountable for the 2022 Goals I laid out at the start of last year. Below I provide the results for each of my nine goals, along with some commentary.
If you copy one goal from this list for your own, make it No. 4 Self Authoring.
1. Reject the victim narrative. Do not complain. Do not blame others for your fate even if they deserve it. Never exhibit self-pity.
Result: pretty much done
I’ve generally made progress toward accomplishing this never-ending goal, though I remain far from mastery.
To be clear, this is not an effort to avoid negativity. Criticism, brutal truths, bitter pills all serve a vital function, in personal development, in relationships, in aiming for the highest good, in bearing the burden of responsibility, in picking up the extra weight. Sometimes you need to call bullshit. You must face the negative to turn it positive.3
Rather, this goal is about eliminating whining. I had my moments over the past year, but I tried to keep them to a minimum and avoid framing myself as the victim. It’s a work in progress, but I feel like I’m getting better at not complaining about, or blaming others for stuff that happens to me.
2. Kitchen closes at 8pm
Result: pretty much done
On a typical week I usually finish dinner by about 7:30pm, have some fruit for desert right around 8pm, and then floss and brush my teeth so I don’t eat any more for the rest of the night. All bets are off on the weekends or when I go out to eat, but for the most part I accomplished this goal and have now established the practice as a pretty standard part of my routine.
3. Read more fiction, Infinite Jest, and The Iliad.
Result: not done
I’ve started both Infinite Jest and The Iliad, but haven’t finished them yet. Otherwise, I only read non-fiction books in 2022.
Infinite Jest will take years to read. I’m on page 172 out of 1,079, and I’m honestly not enjoying it that much. However, it’s a very strange and unique read that still deserves a place. Because the book is such a sprawling, scattered, stream of consciousness, I feel like I can ignore it for a few months, and then jump back in pretty easily. I try to just swim through it, randomly chipping away at a page or two here and there, without thinking too much.
The Iliad, on the other hand, is a wildly different story and reading experience. The epic requires focus, and a shift in approach. It’s more like reading a long poem than a novel. The strange names and ancient customs take some getting used to. But once you get there and get into it, it’s fantastic. I started in December 2022 and have about 100 pages to go as of this writing. The brutal battle scenes, the interplay between gods and men, the sense of how far back this story reaches into history, the themes that resonate today – it all adds up to a gripping and very special experience. I am now moved to read more classics and old (old old old old, really really old) books that have stood the test of time – deep stories that have made us who we are today.
I don’t feel bad about missing this goal. I read great books in 2022, and I will probably read a decent amount of non-fiction again in 2023. However, I will be sure to prioritize the classics, and try to keep the non-fiction constrained to a select few sprinkled in along the way.
4. Self Authoring
Result: done
This experience changed my life. The Self-Authoring Suite is “a series of online writing programs that collectively help you explore your past, present and future.” I started the program in Summer 2021 and completed the Past Authoring section in June 2022. Then I picked up the pace and completed the remaining Present Authoring and Future Authoring sections (in that order) over the second half of 2022. I wrote more than 58,000 words and dove deep into painful memories; my current strengths and weaknesses; and inspiring visions of the future I want to create, the man I want to become.
I learned about the Self-Authoring Suite from Jordan Peterson, who is a founder of the program. It’s also a direct connection to one of the Rule IX from his book Beyond Order: “If old memories still upset you, write them down carefully and completely.” Here are a couple excerpts from that chapter:
You know that when something does not go well, you should analyze the problem, resolve it, apologize, repent, and transform. An unsolved problem seldom sits there, in stasis. It grows new heads, like a hydra. One lie–one act of avoidance–breeds the necessity for more. One act of self-deception generates the requirement to buttress that self-deceptive belief with new delusions. One devastated relationship, unaddressed, damages your reputation–damages your faith in yourself, equally–and decreases the probability of a new and better relationship. Thus, your refusal or even inability to come to terms with the errors of the past expands the source of such error–expands the unknown that surrounds you, transforms that unknown into something increasingly predatory.
And, while that is happening, you get weaker. You are less than you could be because you did not change. You did not become who you could have become as a consequence of that change–and worse: you have now taught yourself, by your own example, that such turning away is acceptable, and you are therefore more likely to commit the same error in the future. And what you failed to face is now larger. (262, emphasis added)
When basic axioms of faith are challenged (“People are basically good”), the foundation shakes and the walls crumble. We have every reason to avoid facing the bitter truth. But making what is–and what was–clear and fully comprehended can only protect us. If you are suffering from memories that will not stop tormenting you, there is possibility–possibility that could be your very salvation–waiting there to be discovered.
If old memories still upset you, write them down carefully and completely. (263)
Writing is one of the most powerful tools at our disposal, and my personal favorite. I think it’s vital to complete these exercises regularly, and truly amazing what it brings into your life.
5. Evening wind-down
Result: partially done
As I mentioned at the start of 2022, my morning recharge routine is dialed in but my evening wind-down is lagging. I aimed to foam roll, stretch, and then meditate for 10 minutes each night before hitting the hay. I was pretty good about foam rolling and stretching part, but I rarely spent any time meditating.
6. Simple and Sinister kettlebell at 32kg
Result: not done
The goal was to complete 10 rounds of 10 single-arm swings followed by 10 Turkish Get Ups (TGU) with a 32kg (70lb) kettlebell. I started 2022 at 24kg (53lb) and ended the year at a mix of six rounds at 24kg and four rounds at 32kg. I typically cranked out three to five of these workouts per week, along with a couple runs or hikes. I’ve been doing these workouts – as really my only strength training – for the past few years and I still love them. In addition to the strength benefits, they present a constant challenge to maintain solid form and mental discipline. It’s so easy to let your mind wander or get bored doing the same workout over and over and over again. And right when you get comfortable and start coasting, the kettlebell wakes you up with a painful lesson. This year I suffered two such lessons.
In February I tweaked by neck and back on a TGU because I was getting lazy and rounding my back on the first step of the TGU. The lesson learned was to keep my back straight, shoulder packed, abs engaged, and then drive up by pushing my heel and pulling with my elbow into the floor. The second lesson was a bonafide back blowout in April. It happened during my warm-up routine in a prying goblet squat. I hadn’t been getting very good sleep that week, my mind was drifting, and I was rushing through the warm-up. I squatted down, with weak abs and a rounded back, and got shocked by a nerve in my lower back that sent me to the floor. I dropped the kettlebell immediately and collapsed. I was sore and hobbling for a solid week, and ended up taking about a month off from kettlebell workouts to lick my wounds.
These setbacks are big-time bummers, but they’re also powerful lessons. I try to keep them in mind every time I dive into a workout these days, and remind myself that the kettlebell is trying to hurt me on every rep. I will give this goal another shot in 2023.
7. Run a 50-miler: Crested Butte Ultra Oct 1
Result: done
I finished in 13:51:07 and placed 51st out of the 61 runners who finished the race. You can read more about the long, brutal, beautiful day here: Crested Butte Ultra 50-miler.
8. Deep scheduling: approach your time like an accountant
Result: not done
My goal (inspired by interviews with Cal Newport on Hidden Brain and Lorne Buchman on EconTalk) was to schedule out each day in detail, by the hour. While I remained pretty organized and productive throughout the year, I failed to do everything I wanted and at times my time got away from me. Sometimes my schedule got overwhelmed, and I ended up losing control or losing my strategy on my time. This occasionally surfaced in the form of working late nights and weekends on stuff that I could have done during the workday or during the week but just put off instead. It also surfaced in the sense that I did not organize the day to allow for my own writing (not related to work) or creative pursuits. Again, my life wasn’t a mess, but a big and ongoing goal for me is to be strategic and disciplined with how I manage my time.
9. Go into the wilderness alone
Result: done
I picked up where I left off in 2021 – when I hiked Colorado Trail Segments 2-10 – and backpacked Colorado Trail Segments 11-14, from S. Elbert Trailhead, near Twin Lakes, to S. Fooses Creek Trailhead, near Garfield, outside of Salida. This year’s trek covered 91 miles, including two 14er summits (Mt. Shavano and Tabeguache Peak), in five days, for an average of about 18 miles per day. Read more about the adventure here: Colorado Trail Segments 11-14.
Inspiration
Art of Manliness Podcast #810: How to Turn a Boy into a Man
I don’t listen to this podcast very often, but a good friend sent me this episode, featuring Jon Tyson, author of The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character. It was one of the best things I listened to in 2022. I have not read the book yet, but I have recommended this episode to many friends and family. It’s the latest reminder of the value of ritual, ceremony, and tradition. And for me personally, this discussion highlights the vitality of Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish rite of passage. Here are a few excerpts from the episode:
With all of our conversations about justice in the world today, I don’t know why this one doesn’t get more attention, because one of the greatest cultural advantages that someone could have in life is a present, loving father figure. (Jon Tyson)
…James Hollis who was I think the president of the Jungian society, he’s written a ton of books on midlife, on pathways, on stage development and theory. He basically said all societies have a six-step process of walking boys through adolescence into manhood, and one of those stages is what he calls the death of childhood thinking. And it’s an environment where you’ve gotta be cut off from the primary influences of childhood in order to enter liminal space. And one of the things that a lot of societies did was consciously severed an overemphasized bond between mother and child, so that he could learn to be formed by the community of men. So I did what I called a severing dinner, which the publisher reduced down to a directional dinner, which sounded less threatening.
And it was basically, I talked my wife into doing this, and my wife’s an absolute legend. She’s an incredible woman. And I said, “Hey, look, I need Nate not to shrink back to you for comfort, but I need you to push him back to me for formation and for challenge.” And so she took him out for a dinner to his favorite restaurant…And then, I come from a faith background, so she prayed a prayer of blessing over him, sort of like an important marking moment. And then she said to him, “Hey, I’m your mother. I love you. I’ll always be here for you and I’ll care for you, but you need to be handed to your father to learn how to become a man. This is gonna be hard. It’s gonna be a challenge, and you’re gonna want to come back to me to ease and find comfort for the discomfort and challenges you’re facing. And I want you to know I’m gonna push you back to your dad and I’m not gonna nurture your immaturity.”
And that was a really powerful moment. Now, to fast forward several years, when I was with my son closing out our journey together, I said to him, “Hey, Nate, I’m getting quite a bit of pushback on the dinner that you did with mom.” And he said, “No, no, no, no, you have to include that.” He said, “I cannot put into words how psychologically powerful that was for me, to realize I was entering this journey primarily being formed by men.” And he was like, “That jump-started this whole thing in my heart that I was actually entering into a different stage together.” (Jon Tyson, emphasis added, edited for clarity)
When I asked my son today, he turns 22 this next week, I said, “Okay man, we’re a couple of years out for this. You’re a junior in college now. What’s your number one takeaway?” And he said, “The number one takeaway is the mental framework that I can figure out and handle anything.” And I was like, “Touch down, mate, that’s it.” If you can get that kind of internal confidence in a young man’s heart where he feels like he can face the challenges of life, that just felt like such a win for me. (Jon Tyson, emphasis added)
Jordan Peterson
I was gifted a ticket to see Jordan Peterson speak in Denver on March 16, 2022. It was great. Here are three of my notes.
- Think of identity as something of a social product. It’s beyond your control. The only way you can create your own identity is if you are isolated and alone, not living or working with other people or with other people in your life. There is a component of how they view you, of how you fit in the world, that’s the component, that’s what identity is: it’s your role in the world. You have a big impact on it, but you don’t ultimately get to arbitrarily decide it.
- Treat yourself as a player in an iterative multi-round infinitely repeated game. You need to apply the golden rule to yourself. Think of your future self and your present self as two players in this game.
- Heroes are graceful in victory and defeat. That’s what differentiates someone admirable, a role model, playing the game the right way regardless of the outcome; an ethic. This is why I can’t stand LeBron James and can’t root against Steph Curry.
I also took the following two notes from an undetermined episode of Jordan Peterson’s podcast:
- How to argue with friends, or How to truly listen to people, a rule: Before you make your point you must summarize and synthesize the other person’s point in a way that they agree with. They need to agree that you have accurately summarized, synthesized and famed their argument.
- Watch people around you. At home: when you see your wife or kids do something you like, something you want them to do again in the future, repeated on a regular basis, tell them what they did in detail, and indicate you noticed.
Viktor Frankl
And finally, here are two quotes from Viktor Frankl that I jotted down at some point in 2022 and are worth sharing and repeating:
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. (Undetermined source)
Every human being has the freedom to change at any instant…one of the main features of human existence is the capacity to rise above [] conditions, to grow beyond them. Man is capable of changing the world for the better when possible, and of changing himself for the better if necessary. Man’s Search for Meaning (131)